tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78378784961326215612024-03-08T09:00:11.761-06:00Denying ThumperOne man's adventures through the wonderful world of denied orgasmUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger37125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-39871424610462832412008-11-17T20:15:00.004-06:002009-01-03T10:58:02.429-06:00We've moved!I've decided to move to WordPress since all the cool kinky kids are using it. Please update your bookmarks!<br /><br /><a href="http://denyingthumper.com/">http://denyingthumper.com/</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-7702767844846869062008-11-14T16:17:00.002-06:002008-11-14T16:55:48.147-06:00A WeekIt's been almost a week since the last update. Sorry for shirking my duties!<br /><br />Last Sunday morning, Belle woke saying she was hot for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Thumper</span>. This, I might say, is a nice way to wake up. Unfortunately, our youngest was up and in and out of our room, so Belle told me that I'd have to wait until that night to satisfy her craving. The previous night, I had made up for Friday's transgression by giving her the orgasm she was denied 24-hours earlier. I guess that wasn't quite enough, because she woke up wanting more. By lunchtime, I was also locked up in the CB6K. I went in voluntarily so I could test a new combination of ring and spacer sizes (middle ring, second to smallest space). Even though I wasn't interested in being in there very long, Belle decided I might have to keep it on for a while. She reminded me that she, not I, decided when it came off. Putting it on of my own volition didn't change that.<br /><br />The day went by and we spent the evening over at her parent's house celebrating her dad's birthday. Belle had more than her fair share of wine and, by the time we got home and into bed, she was over the "hot for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Thumper</span>" phase from earlier. Now, at this point, if it were me in her position, I'd just say, "You thought we were going to have sex? Too bad." But instead, she went somewhere else.<br /><br />One of the things that lead to the troubles we experienced in out marriage was lack of sex. I don't blame her for this. We both let it happen over a long period of time. We just stopped having it. We'd go six or eight weeks with nothing whatsoever – her not offering and me not asking. She didn't seem to need it and I'd go and look at some web porn whenever I wanted to cum. Combined with other factors, this eventually led me into a short-lived affair. Last Sunday, instead of using her position as my sexual dominant to cover for her lack of interest, she instead took a left turn and started crying. She was worried, she said, that by denying me sex after suggesting we'd have it earlier that we were heading back to the place that caused our marriage to suffer.<br /><br />Two things here. First, nothing could be further from the truth. Our troubles before were caused by joint sexual apathy, but now I felt we had a fully-engaged love life. She was denying me because I <span style="font-style: italic;">wanted</span> to be denied. I was 1500% more satisfied with a fraction of the ejaculations. Second, as soon as she became vulnerable to me – when she cried and expressed her worry – I was completely blown out of my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subspace_%28BDSM%29">subspace</a>. I could no longer be submissive to her and the presence of the CB6K on my cock went from being sensual to annoying in about 1/10<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">th</span> of a second. I asked a few times to have it removed (requests she basically ignored) and finally asserted that it <span style="font-style: italic;">had</span> to be removed. The entire D/s dynamic was swept away.<br /><br />I tried to explain how she had nothing to fear. That I was really much happier now and how she could use her disinterest as just another way to tease me (in effect, giving me what I wanted by not giving me what I wanted), but she was still weepy as we went to sleep. I can't say we were fighting, but there seemed to be some unresolved issues. The next morning, I was still a million miles from feeling submissive. By that night, though, things were getting better. We had another, less tearful, conversation and I felt myself descending back into my subspace. I got a little heated up and she rebuffed me in the "right" way, which helped a lot. Now, I'm feeling close to where I was before. She let me cum Wednesday (somewhat unexpectedly) but has since locked me up again and said I will get out until next Friday (which will be eight days in the device, twice my previous record). Not only that, I'll have been without orgasm for ten days (also a new record).<br /><br />There's more I can say about the ups and downs of the previous week, but I don't have time at present. Suffice it to say, we're heading back to a place where we're both comfortable, which is good, and I'm walking around with the buzz of sexual denial keeping me on edge, which is great. It was amazing to me how quickly the trappings of sexual submissiveness could be pulled down, but am happy to feel them returning. All I ever want her to do is what feels right to her. As long as she's happy, I will be, too.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-26639629267224240642008-11-08T10:57:00.002-06:002008-11-08T11:47:04.058-06:00Thumper failsThe monthly visitor has left the building, so last night I had a feeling Belle was going to let me out. At first, she requested a massage to her back and feet, so I lit the candles, got the oil, and laid out the towel as she put the youngest to bed. Once that was done, though, she said she was cold and just wanted to be under the covers so I could warm her. Fine by me! I stripped (with permission) and climbed in. A few minutes later, she told me to get the keys and the little prison was off.<br /><br />My last orgasm had been six days earlier. I have no way of knowing since I didn't keep strict records on such things until I gave up control of my sexual satisfaction to her, but I'm pretty sure six days has to be one of the longest times I've gone without release in my adult life. So, needless to say, being naked and under the covers with my wonderful Belle <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Fille</span>, my mind (and hands) immediately went to her body. She told me the massage was off, but that didn't mean I was without instructions. First, I was to get her nice and warm by manually stimulating her with my fingers. Then, I was to mount and fuck her - <span style="font-style: italic;">slowly</span> - until she archived orgasm. I, however, was <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> to cum. Normally, she'd let me cum after her, but I got the impression that this time I was out of luck.<br /><br />After a little while of sucking and licking her nipples and doing my dead level best to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">stimulate</span> her clitoris, I could no longer stand the anticipation and begged to fuck her. I mounted her and felt her soft, warm moistness envelope my six-day-neglected cock. I nearly shot my load right there. I forced myself to consider other, less interesting subjects and started the long, slow strokes she requested.<br /><br />I can make my Belle cum about 99% of the time using my fingers, mouth, or cock. The most popular paths to her orgasms are my fingers followed by her getting on top of me and riding my cock. Mounting her missionary-style is the one that takes the longest for her. Knowing this, I also knew I was going to have to concentrate <span style="font-style: italic;">very hard</span> not to cum. After several minutes of fucking her slowly and continuing to pinch, suck and lick her nipples, I found myself on the very brink of orgasm. I withdrew and, hoping to buy some time to recover, started to rub my dick head <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">against</span> her <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">clit</span> (something she's enjoyed in the past). This time, however, she ordered me back in. She wanted me to fuck her to orgasm and didn't much care that I needed to take a break. So, back in I went.<br /><br />I felt a small slug of ejaculate escape upon entering, but I think was whatever had locked and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">loaded</span> from the edge of the orgasm I had just come down from. I felt OK, though, and continued to work on her tits. I felt very much like her pet at this point. I was suffering - straining not to cum and in an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">awkward</span> position fucking her while also working her tits. I was nothing more than her tool. A big meat fucking machine with her favorite dildo attached. She started to whisper how good what I was doing with <span style="font-style: italic;">her</span> cock felt. I could sense she was getting close. She was breathing heavier and moving her hips in counter motion to my thrusts. Her mind was entirely on her own pleasure and without regard to what I was feeling and I <span style="font-style: italic;">knew</span> it. And I <span style="font-style: italic;">loved</span> it. And that's when it happened.<br /><br />I felt the wave of the orgasm too late to do anything about it. I came and I came. Probably six or more spurts into her. I tried to stop it and fought every one so that, even though I had been saving it up for a week, I didn't enjoy a moment of it. I knew I had failed. She had not yet cum, but I did. I tried to keep going but the sensation on the head of my cock was too intense. Besides, I was starting to get soft. She told me to stop but to leave it in there. I pushed in as far as I could while she moved her hips around me. She did achieve a fierce little orgasm, but nothing like the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">OMFG</span> type I had hoped she'd get.<br /><br />I know there are <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">dommes</span> out there who would really make me pay for such a terrible transgression. My Belle's not one of them. She does acknowledge that I owe her, but has so far not made clear what, if any, punishment I'll receive for failing to contain my pleasure before hers. On the one hand, I love her for her sweet gentleness. She was really happy I got to cum and didn't feel <span style="font-style: italic;">too</span> much put out for not getting a good one herself. She says I owe her one tonight and that I better be able to contain myself this time. On the other hand, though, I wish she'd be a little tougher on me. I need to feel that what I did last night will lead to consequences I may not be happy about. If I know all I'll get is a light verbal scolding, will I fight as hard next time to keep from cumming?<br /><br />The best part for me about how she reacted was immediately after her little orgasm. She said she wished she had a harem so she could get the next guy to come finish the job I was unable to complete. Maybe he'd be a more worthy lover. This was <span style="font-style: italic;">perfect</span>. The thrill that went down my spine as she said these mildly humiliating and non-threatening things (of course, there is no other guy and there never will be) was delicious. However, I think she felt that saying them hurt my feelings or something because she immediately started to backpedal. It's kind of funny, actually. I think there might be a snarling little dominatrix in there somewhere. How else would those things have come from her lips at just the right time to stoke my feelings of failure and inadequacy? But then the nice girl came back and tried to cover it all up. I love that nice girl, don't get me wrong. I married her. But, when I'm her pet, I'd much rather have the bad girl come out, kick up her feet, and stay a while.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-14148062696711530742008-11-07T14:26:00.002-06:002008-11-07T14:45:40.511-06:00Post-Election ErectionWith both Virginia and Florida going <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Obama's</span> way, I dodged a bullet and stayed free. Until, that is, she had a different idea. She started her period and decided that, as long as she's imprisoned by biology, I'll be imprisoned by technology. Seems fair to me.<br /><br />The other day over on <a href="http://fetlife.com"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">FetLife</span></a>, I <a href="http://fetlife.com/groups/141/group_posts/35811">started a topic</a> looking for advice regarding my <a href="http://denyingthumper.blogspot.com/2008/11/sleeping-in-chastity.html">previously mentioned issues</a> with sleeping while locked up. Lot's of good advice over there, but the best comment came from <a href="http://fetlife.com/users/51037"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">chastitygoddess</span></a> who said:<br /><blockquote>As others have said, it takes some time to adjust. But what is important is you re-channel your feelings from 'throbbing, painful erections' in your device to relishing the delight of 'throbbing manhood held in your <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">keyholders</span> embrace.'</blockquote>She's absolutely right, of course. And I think that's where I am. It's not that I don't like the feeling of being encased in chastity - I absolutely <span style="font-style: italic;">do</span> relish it - it's that it was keeping me up and making me lose sleep. Until last night.<br /><br />I awoke just once (that I can remember) and didn't get out of bed until after Belle's alarm went off. Of course, I had major morning wood. It was so bad, in fact, that I couldn't even pee. My shaft was squeezed shut by the trapped erection. I was able to force urine out in tight bursts, but not enough to empty my bladder. Chalk up another new sensation to enforced chastity.<br /><br />Today, I'm wearing boxers and the loosest pants I have and I must say I'm extremely comfortable. A few times I've forgotten I'm packing plastic. If I had a few more pants like these and could sleep more or less though the night, I could stay in this thing indefinitely. Just don't tell Belle, k?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-71876897979916097302008-11-04T09:12:00.002-06:002008-11-04T09:41:11.649-06:00Election dayPreviously, I reported that Belle had picked the outcome of Virginia's presidential election as the determining factor as to whether or not I was to be imprisoned tonight. If the state went for McCain, I was to be locked up. However, after looking at the polls, she's decided Florida is a closer call. So, if you live in Florida, please take my fate into consideration when casting your vote today. ;)<br /><br />Last night, Belle and I had a great conversation. I got her <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sexually-Dominant-Woman-Workbook-Beginners/dp/1890159115/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225811802&sr=8-1"><span style="font-style: italic;">The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners</span></a> (which is incredibly short and simplistic, but written in a nice and nonthreatening way). After she finished it, we talked for a while. It's clear (maybe obviously so) that the most important part of our integrating OD and D/s into our marriage is communicating our boundaries and expectations. I think she's putting a lot of stress on herself with regards to being the kind of dominant I'm looking for. She's never going to be a man-eating dominatrix because that's just not in her. In fact, I just want her to be herself. I want her to treat me as the junior partner in the sexual aspect of our relationship in any way that's comfortable for her. I'm just thrilled to be along for the ride.<br /><br />She did confess a reluctance to participate in any kind of anal play with me. That's a disappointment, but seeing we have so many other things to get through first (she has yet to tie me up or flagellate me, darn it all), I'm not too worried. I do enjoy it and go through periods where I crave it, but they're few and far between. Maybe with more discussion and a better understanding of what's involved, she'll change her mind, but in the mean time, I'm good.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-85168677394618853692008-11-03T10:32:00.003-06:002008-11-03T11:06:58.501-06:00Blogroll, pleaseI've decided to be a polite member of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">blogosphere</span> and add a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">blogroll</span> to my little corner of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">teh</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">interwebs</span>. You'll see it over there on the right. These are the blogs I love and visit frequently. Inaugural members are:<br /><ul><li><a href="http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/">The Edge of Vanilla</a> - Tom Allen's chastity and OD site is a must for those of us not looking to be dressed up in skimpy French maid outfits and made to clean the toilet with our toothbrushes. It's the kink site for the rest of us. Also, Tom seems to be a nice guy, so that's a plus.</li><li><a href="http://maybemaimed.com/">Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed</a> - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">BDSM</span> blog by <a href="http://maymay.net/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Meitar</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Moscovitz</span></a> (AKA, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">maymay</span>). His thoughtful, intelligent writing about things I had previously only vaguely fantasized about made me realize <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">BDSM</span> was about more than sex. There's philosophy there, too. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Maymay</span> also produces (produced?) a podcast called <a href="http://kinkontap.com/">Kink on Tap</a>. His <a href="http://maybemaimed.com/2007/08/22/kink-on-tap-6-sexual-teasing-and-denial/">sixth episode</a> on Teasing and Denial was revelatory. </li><li><a href="http://bloodylaughter.com/">A Place to Draw Blood Laughing</a> - Blog of Eileen, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">maymay's</span> partner and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">domme</span>. She's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">cohost</span> of the Kink on Tap podcast. I find her writing to be beautiful and evocative. </li><li><a href="http://domme-chronicles.blogspot.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Domme</span> Chronicles</a> - Super-hot fiction, including an <a href="http://domme-chronicles.blogspot.com/2008/11/biting-him.html">entire entry on biting</a> (my favorite). </li><li><a href="http://beyondthehills.wordpress.com/">Beyond the Hills</a> - To be honest, I don't know a thing about this author, except that <a href="http://beyondthehills.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/why-i-revile-the-memory-of-arthur-pendragon/">her post on aggressive submission</a> spoke to me like nothing else has in the six weeks or so I've been investigating the kinky universe.<br /></li></ul>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-41632926729324316532008-11-03T06:40:00.005-06:002008-11-03T13:06:49.052-06:00Damage reportBelle let me out last night. I figured she would, but there was always an outside chance she'd keep me in there. Last time, I got out because she felt sorry for me. This time, it was just because she wanted my cock. I like that reason better (and yes, she let me cum).<br /><br />I neglected to mention in my recent reports that I picked up a set of <a href="http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/p/chastity-accessories/ksd-g3/chs048.html"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">KSD</span>-G3s</a> to help improve the security of the CB6K. (For those who don't know, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">KSD</span>-G3 is a polycarbonate doodad that fits into the tube of the CB6K above the penis. It has a little rib that protrudes on the end down and into the flesh of the penis. It works by holding the penis in place but, more importantly, by causing the skin of the penis to gather and catch as it's pulled out. I found it to be very effective. I <span style="font-style: italic;">might</span> have been able to pull out, but I'm not sure I would have been able to get back in.) I wore the middle size (B) for the first two days but had to take it out (carefully, without removing the tube) because it had sharp little corners that were biting into me at night. After a few minutes under the business end of my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Dremel</span>, the little corners were gone and the G3 was back in place (male chastity is a surprisingly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">DIY</span>-intensive sport, I'm finding). No more biting. However, here on the morning after, I find three abrasion lines on the top of my shaft from the protruding rib on the G3. Nice, neat little cuts except they didn't break the skin. They don't really hurt, but I'm thinking next time I should go the smallest size. Would hate to take off the tube one day and find two-thirds of my severed cock still in it.<br /><br />I also have some tenderness on the underside of my shaft where it meets my scrotum. I believe this is from the end of the tube in that location digging into my balls during erections but also when the tube is shoved into them when I'm wearing jeans or tight underwear. Nothing too serious.<br /><br />I have a few little abrasions on the head of my dick from those pesky erections pushing it though the opening at the end of the tube. Again, nothing serious. Don't remember where, but I found a tip on the web to help avoid this. Fold up a square of toilet paper and slip it into the head of the tube. Makes a nice little pad to both absorb dribbles of urine but also to protect against the kind of abrasions I have. I'll try that next time, at least when sleeping.<br /><br />Finally, I've discovered the cause of two areas of irritation on either side of the base of my shaft. The CB6K's design uses three polycarbonate (or maybe nylon) posts. The main one secures the tube to the ring and has a hole for the lock. The other two are on either side of that one and hold the ring assembly together (as well as providing some structural rigidity to the unit). The backside of the main post is flush with the ring against the pubic bone when inserted, but the other two have slightly rounded ends . While not rough, they apparently protrude just enough to cause the two spots of irritation I have. They line up perfectly. Not sure what to do about that. I might be able to sand them down. Either that, or I'm going to develop some oddly-placed callouses.<br /><br />If all this talk of irritation, biting, chafing, etc., sounds like too much trouble to you, then enforced chastity is not in your future. Personally, I was a little disappointed she didn't lock me back up after she had her way with me (and more than a little surprised by my disappointment). There is hope, though. She's said that if Barack Obama loses Virginia, she's going to lock me back up. If he wins it, then I'm safe until at least Friday. I have no idea what Virginia's voting has to do with my cock, but I like the randomness of my fate. I only wish <a href="http://www.pollster.com/polls/va/08-va-pres-ge-mvo.php">the polls</a> showed a closer race.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-333628521459620302008-11-02T11:00:00.006-06:002008-11-02T11:08:25.193-06:00Aggressively submissive. Hell, yeah.This, from <a href="http://beyondthehills.wordpress.com/">beyond the hills</a>, so perfectly captures what being submissive means to me that I can only quote it unashamedly:<br /><blockquote style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p>To be strong (physically or emotionally) is not an inherently dominant trait, just like being assertive isn’t inherently dominant, and being strong-willed isn’t inherently dominant. Those things are just good. Those things complement submission, they make submission delicious.</p> <p>Submissive does not mean passive.</p> <p>Being passive is being <em>passive</em>, not submissive.</p>...<p>Knowing what you want and being brave enough tell someone is sexy. Being able to take care of yourself is sexy. Being able to make decisions is sexy. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Being perfectly able to make good decisions and then letting me make them for you is even sexier. </span>[Emphasis fucking mine.]<br /></p></blockquote><a href="http://beyondthehills.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/why-i-revile-the-memory-of-arthur-pendragon/">Read the entire post.</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-77564550548866130282008-11-02T10:09:00.001-06:002008-11-02T10:11:14.132-06:00FetLifeOMG, I just found FetLife! <a href="http://fetlife.com/users/60128">Here's my profile.</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-4339561274406538712008-11-02T07:39:00.006-06:002008-11-02T09:32:01.286-06:00Sleeping in chastityThis single biggest thing I've had to get used to over the past four days of enforced chastity is sleeping. Thanks to my little acrylic friend, I now know that, due to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_penile_tumescence">nocturnal penile tumescence</a>, I achieve three substantial erections over the course of any given night. These aren't run-of-the-mill erections, either. They're much harder, stronger, and of greater duration than normal boners and are totally disconnected to what I'm feeling or thinking. So far, they've been <span style="font-style: italic;">very</span> regular - one at around 1:30, another at about 3:15, and the last at around 5:00. At those times, three forms of pain awaken me.<br /><ol><li>My erection's swelling causes pressure at the base of my shaft which, in turn, causes the cock ring to cut cruelly into me. As I said yesterday, there are two points of irritation forming on my cock and the swelling of my meat against the sharp edges of hard, unyielding acrylic is, I believe, the cause. Why oh why can't the ring be rounded?<br /></li><li>The internal diameter of the tube is smaller than my cock. Therefore, it's like having a vice on all 3.25" of my dick that will fit within it. Additionally, there are three vents on either side of the tube near where it locks to the ring. These vents are purportedly there to allow for the circulation of air and to aid cleaning. However, when <span style="font-style: italic;">fully</span> erect, the soft, fleshy tissue within extrudes out of them like Play-Doh. The edges of the acrylic are not sharp, but the constant intense pressure causes the edges to eventually bite. Also, the skin that pokes though is pulled tight and becomes very sensitive.<br /></li><li>As my erection lengthens, it pushes at the end of the tube and lifts the entire apparatus away from my body. This has the effect of pulling on my scrotum and causing its skin to be pulled smoothly tight. My testicles, unable to escape through the ring, are forced to the sides of my entrapment and rub, in their hyper-sensitive state, against my inner thighs. </li></ol>This entire straining package lays throbbing between my legs seemingly all night long. As I shift from side to side, it ponderously flops back and forth. Laying on my back is the best bet, but I can't sleep that way. I want to be on my sides or stomach. On my sides, it gets crushed between my legs or, if I push it out, pulls down on whichever side is opposite gravity. I can move further around so I'm partially on my stomach, but this ratchets up the sensations as it seems to cause more blood to flow into the area. I can lay fully on my stomach, but that means shoving the package down between my legs causing more constriction and, like before, greater engorgement.<br /><br />Night before last, as all this was going on during the 5:00 AM shift, Belle turned to me in the bed and meant to place one of her legs between mine (entwining them as any loving couple might over the course of the night). Unfortunately, her knee came in a little too aggressively and collided against all the tight, constrained, and otherwise tortured flesh. I saw stars in the pitch black of our room. Oddly enough though, after the initial shock of impact, I felt myself <span style="font-style: italic;">enjoying</span> the afterglow of pain.<br /><br />And that's the root of my new found observation. As I briefly mentioned yesterday, because Belle is <span style="font-style: italic;">forcing</span> me to wear the device this time, I find myself actually <span style="font-style: italic;">looking forward</span> to the pain. I like it when Belle inflicts pain on me during our lovemaking and, since I'm in chastity at her direction, it is, in essence, a form of lovemaking (at least in my twisted and hormone-fevered brain). The device is the physical manifestation of her control over me, so when I wake up in the middle of the night in pain, <span style="font-style: italic;">she's giving it to me</span>. It hurts, yes. Hurts a lot. But I'm starting to appreciate it. God help me, I'm starting to really <span style="font-style: italic;">enjoy</span> it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-36769752211988622202008-11-01T20:33:00.004-05:002008-11-02T07:35:25.498-06:00Random thoughts on the CB-6000Last time I wore the <a href="http://www.cb-2000.com/cb6000.html">CB-6000</a>, it was only for two days. This time, I've already gone 50% longer (do the math). Hardly a long term incarceration, but enough time to come up with some observations.<br /><ul><li>Going to the bathroom goes from a simple, quick act to a protracted operation. First, grab the Q-Tips. Second, sit down (grrr). Third, attempt to align penis slit with opening in tube. Fourth, pee. Sometimes, the stream is not strong since the device is somehow constricting the flow. At best, you have a 50-50 chance of starting a healthy, unimpeded stream. Otherwise, it's spraying around and probably getting all over the inside of the tube, on your inner thigh, etc. Fifth, use Q-Tips to absorb as much moisture as possible inside the tube. Don't forget to flush (at least leaving the lid up isn't an issue).</li><li>It's impossible to stop thinking about your cock when it's locked up. From being awakened several times a night by nocturnal erections that will <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> go away, to constantly having to adjust the position of everything while sitting or driving, to simply feeling the weight of the device on your unit as you walk around, there just isn't a time that my dick and its condition isn't top of mind. This, I believe, is what's known as <span style="font-style: italic;">irony</span>. My cock <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">gets</span> locked up to make it a useless tube of meat and, in the process, it becomes the single most important thing in my world.<br /></li><li>The ring is <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> starting to cause me some pain. I'm currently in the 1 7/8" size and, even though I'm using <a href="http://maybemaimed.com/2008/09/24/top-ten-tips-for-long-term-male-chastity-device-wear/#comment-5440">May's advice</a>, I'm still seeing quite a bit of irritation just to the left and right of the base of my cock (about where my scrotum meets the sides of my shaft). I have been shaving in that area, so that may be contributory. I think the hard edge of the ring is to blame, though. I spent, like, 20 minutes today daydreaming how I could make the ring rounded. </li><li>Working out is not possible. I use an ellipse machine to exercise and found today that I was experiencing some testicular pain after about 10-15 minutes of moderate activity. This sucks. Everything I had read about this on other blogs was to the contrary. </li><li>Interestingly, now that I'm wearing the device because Belle is making me, all this doesn't bother me as much as it did when I was wearing it just because. Even the nocturnal pain feels more sensual (or something) since it's cause by something she ordered me to do. Weird.</li></ul>Starting the third night in about 15 minutes. We'll see how I feel about it in the morning...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-23058173830904954402008-10-31T08:46:00.010-05:002008-11-02T19:17:37.635-06:00Back in the boxWednesday night, Belle was out of town. Before she left, she agreed to allow me to pleasure myself in her absence as long as I did not achieve orgasm. I have found that I need an outlet for my sexual tension when I can't focus on her and dry masturbation seemed to help. Also, before she left, she agreed to leave our toy box unlocked as I wanted to play around with some of our new items (I called it "research").<br /><br />Earlier in the day, on my way back to the office following a client meeting, I found myself back at the house with thoughts of that unlocked box dancing in my head. I hurried into our bedroom, stripped, and brought out the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aneros"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Aneros</span></a>. It had been about five days since my last orgasm and I wanted to see if I could <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostate_massage">milk</a> myself.<br /><br />My first impression of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Aneros</span> was that it was very small. That was disappointing. As I've mentioned previously, I'm an old hand at putting things up my ass and have always been something of a size queen. The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Aneros</span> is positively dainty in comparison to some of the things I've gotten up there. What I found, though, is that size <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> doesn't matter. A couple of drops of JO lube later, and it slid in so easily I almost didn't feel it. Once in place though, I immediately appreciated its cunningly devised shape. After about 10 or 15 minutes of direct prostate massage combined with a moderate amount of stroking, I experienced my first non-orgasmic emission. It just sort of <span style="font-style: italic;">poured</span> out in a rather lazy fashion and pooled next to my belly button. It was ejaculation without the jack. Since it was a new sensation attached to my dick, I have to say I enjoyed it, but it wasn't anything like cumming. Afterward, I was still totally aroused, and in fact, remained in a heightened state of arousal for the remainder of the day. There was no post-orgasmic high. No drowsiness. No contentedness. My brain was still buzzing with sexual activity.<br /><br />Which was probably why I screwed up that night. After all the kids were in bed and asleep, I wanted to repeat the milking experience. I wasn't sure it was possible since my understanding of how it worked was that there had to be ejaculate backed-up and waiting behind the prostate, but I was horny as hell and couldn't imagine it would hurt anything to try again. This time, it didn't even take ten minutes. Either I found <span style="font-style: italic;">the</span> fucking spot on my gland or it was extra sensitive from the earlier session, but the intensity of the feelings washing over me was like nothing I've ever felt before. Next thing I knew, and with little manual stimulation, the semen was leaking out again. Still not flying out like a normal orgasm, but with more vigor than the first time. In fact, it wasn't so much the way it came out but how it felt inside that told me I had cum. As soon as I realized it was happening, I tried to stop it, but it was too late. It wasn't an especially good orgasm, but an orgasm it was. I had broken my promise to Belle. I felt terrible.<br /><br />Not only had I cum without permission, but I did it after she gave me permission to masturbate. It was just about the worst thing I could do. However, I also knew she would not appreciate the seriousness of the infraction. I could have told her and experienced no repercussions. But, in the twisted way my mind's working, I <span style="font-style: italic;">wanted</span> her to punish me. I needed to pay for cumming. Even though I'm no big fan of the <a href="http://www.cb-2000.com/cb6000.html">CB6K</a>, I knew that I needed to put it on. And not just for two days this time. <span style="font-style: italic;">I came without permission.</span> I needed to do some hard time (so to speak).<br /><br />If we have any issues in our relationship right now, they're mainly centered around me needing her to be a strong, dominate female and her resistance to doing it naturally. She just doesn't feel it. I want to be beat up, tortured, teased, and denied and she just wants to snuggle. Don't get me wrong, I <span style="font-weight: bold;">love</span> snuggling (in fact, her absent-minded stroking of my armpit hair while we're holding each other is one of my favorite sensations). But sometimes, and especially now since its all so new, I want her to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">domme</span> it up a bit. I have a feeling it will come - that we'll eventually meet half-way - but it's going to take time. I'll go vanilla for her when she wants me to and she'll tie me up and spank me every so often. But for the moment, it's somewhat <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">awkward</span>. Case in point...<br /><br />I spilled the beans to her when she got home the next day. I told her I proactively locked myself up (though she admitted that she wouldn't have thought of that). I told her she needed to decide for how long I was to be incarcerated and that she should not let my whining and complaining about it affect her decision. I needed to be locked up and denied for <span style="font-style: italic;">a long time</span>. I should never, ever want to cum outside her company ever again. Yes, I do get off on this treatment, but I really do hate the fucking CB6K. Really. She needs show me who's boss and to use the CB6K as her enforcement tool - the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">physical</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">manifestation</span> of her absolute control over my sexual pleasure. Hopefully someday, I won't need to coach her on this and it'll all just come to her <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">naturally</span>. When it does - when I fear her reaction to cumming at the wrong time or without her permission - then I'll <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> be happy. <em></em>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-88395464840787211832008-10-27T15:40:00.003-05:002008-10-27T15:59:05.138-05:00Well, that was weird - further thoughtsRegarding this:<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><blockquote>So last night she comes home late and pretty much says we aren't going to be using any of the new items. I didn't really think she'd be tying me up, but not even the collar? I can't even try it on? I had built this moment up in my mind - me, the pet, getting my first collar, from her, my owner - and instead I get a tired wife who just wants to go to bed.</blockquote>If I were in her shoes (which I'd never be since they look so uncomfortable and I have not even an inkling of a shoe/foot fetish nor am I interested in cross dressing) I'd have used this situation as a way to give me what I want without giving me what I want. I don't expect she's going to want to have sex as often as I do (especially when I'm getting no orgasmic release away from her), so why not just tell me to be a good boy and heel? Hell, hit me with a rolled up newspaper, even. Tell me tonight's not the night and if I give her any crap about it she'll add a week to however long it's going to be until I get to cum. When the time comes, she can even threaten to lock me up. In short, leverage her disinterest into an opportunity to feed my kink. I suppose she'll get there. This is all so new to both of us, though I've dived deeply into the concept and have read so much more on the topic than she has. Maybe it's time to give her a tour of some of the sites I've been visiting.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-81030925652800304252008-10-27T10:49:00.006-05:002008-10-27T15:38:07.240-05:00Well, that was weird.Last night was not especially great. Belle's flight was delayed so she got home really late. Also, she had to get up early this morning <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">and'll</span> be at a work thing tonight, so there's no telling when we'll get a chance for some quality time. Suddenly, the real world has shoved its nose into our life and I'm not liking it. It's given rise to some worries.<br /><br /><a href="http://denyingthumper.blogspot.com/2008/10/thumper-exotic-pet.html">Last post</a>, I talked about the whole "exotic pet" metaphor. If someone had dropped a lemur or ferret on her doorstep without instruction, Belle'd be just as hard-pressed to deal with it as she is dealing with her suddenly kinky, horny, submissive husband. While I did <a href="http://denyingthumper.blogspot.com/2008/10/connie-cul-de-sac.html">order her some books</a>, they only can help her so much if, at the end of the day, her heart's just not in it. I never asked her if she wanted to control my orgasms and we never really talked about adding a large measure of kink into our sex lives. I more or less dumped all that on her. Well, what if she doesn't like it? What if none of this really gets her going? In order for it to work for me, I need it to work for her. And last night, it just wasn't.<br /><br />Since she called me and told me about the things she was buying in San Francisco, I have been fixated on the collar. The other things (cuffs, straps, etc.) are also intriguing to me, but I've been imagining the collar almost constantly- the first time she put it on me, the way it would look around my neck, the way it would make me feel. Yeah, I've taken this whole pet thing pretty seriously. So last night she comes home late and pretty much says we aren't going to be using any of the new items. I didn't really think she'd be tying me up, but not even the collar? I can't even try it on? I had built this moment up in my mind - me, the pet, getting my first collar, from her, my owner - and instead I get a tired wife who just wants to go to bed. No, there's nothing wrong with that. It's totally understandable. But I was pretty well crushed by the let down and that, in turn, led me to doubt this entire course we're on. It also highlights the precarious emotional state I'm apparently in.<br /><br />I feel as though I'm coming out to her. No, I'm not gay, but I can't imagine telling her I was would be much more difficult than this. Where we are in our relationship and how quickly it's developed over the past six to eight weeks, and the fact that sex (or lack of it) was one of the root issues that led to our troubles, has left me feeling a little insecure. On top of that, I know that as I'm exploring my desires I'm discovering new things about myself. As I mentioned in the last post, I'm finding myself much more drawn to D/s (with some reluctance). It's as if I'm pulling a thread on a sweater and it just keeps coming with no end in sight. <span style="font-style: italic;">I really don't know</span> what kind of person I am. And I don't know if Belle's interested in maintaining whatever it is I'm becoming. And that's scary.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-68604115253427924742008-10-24T09:38:00.018-05:002008-10-24T15:54:33.786-05:00Thumper: An exotic petWednesday night, after Belle released me from the device, we had amazing, intense, and extraordinarily satisfying sex (at least for me). While we were discussing the affect the CB6K had on me and us, I was able to explain to Belle the four pillars of my kinkiness. In short, they are:<br /><ul><li>Orgasm tease and denial - This is foundational. Not sure a lot of folks would consider this a kink in an of itself, but, as I've <a href="http://denyingthumper.blogspot.com/2008/10/triple-play.html">written about previously</a>, I'm categorizing it as a core kink for me and our relationship.</li><li>Pain - I am a masochist. When I'm aroused, any feeling of pain seems to amplify my pleasure. So far, Belle has been unable to inflict pain on me that crossed my threshold beyond sexual enjoyment. Pinching, scratching, hair pulling, and biting have, so far, only increased my arousal.</li><li>Bondage - I <span style="font-style: italic;">desperately</span> want to be tied up. We have experimented with this very little, mostly due to lack of proper equipment. I remember telling her about my desire to experiment with bondage at the very beginning of our relationship, but she had no way to deal with that information at the time and nothing ever came of it. Truth be told, I've never really been tied up by anyone, but I've often fantasized about being secured with straps and ropes and unable to control the things being done to me. Plus, bondage porn is some of my favorite.<br /></li><li>Anal play - This is the one thing that I have plenty of experience with. In my youth, I had several male sex partners and have held a fascination with putting things up my ass for as long as I can remember. However, with the exception of a brief period near the beginning of our relationship, Belle and I had never really talked about it and we've never integrated it into our sex. It has been relegated to solo masturbatory sessions for more than a decade.<br /></li></ul>You may notice, as I have, that the first three bullets involve activities often related to dominance and submission (D/s). I've <a href="http://denyingthumper.blogspot.com/2008/10/od-vs-t-vs-ds-etc.html">written at the beginning of this blog</a> that I wasn't especially interested in being Belle's slave. Interestingly though, the closer we edge towards activities with strong D/s overtones I find I have more interest in being dominated, in at least a sexual way. I am still decidedly NOT interested in Belle dominating me all the time in all we do. However, in bed, I've yet to find the bottom of the pool of my submissive desire.<br /><br />So once the talking part of our evening was over (or, at least, the part where we talked <span style="font-style: italic;">exclusively</span> since we usually talk quite a bit while making love), and Belle was being especially cruel to my nipples, raking her nails down my back and ribs, digging them into my ass cheeks (almost, but not quite, as good as ass biting), and squeezing and pulling on my balls, I blurted out that I wanted to be her sexual pet. I had already used the metaphor to describe all these new kinky needs suddenly gushing from her husband and how it was not unlike having an exotic animal left in your care with no idea what to do with it. It clicked in my head that, in fact, I <span style="font-style: italic;">did</span> want to be her sexual pet. Like any well-trained and obedient animal, I was eager to please her and willing to accept just about any command. The attention she was lavishing on my body was profoundly arousing. While I was still her husband, lover, and friend, I also found myself moving to a place in my head where I was, absolutely, her pet. <span style="font-style: italic;">And I loved it.</span><br /><br />Since I'm often over-thinking things, here's my take on this. I don't want to be a <span style="font-style: italic;">slave</span> because, in my mind, that requires the abdication of too much authority over my body to someone else. I do not want to kneel before her or wait for her command (and she's not interested in that, either). However, a <span style="font-style: italic;">pet</span> still has the ability to think and act for itself. It can have an overwhelming need to satisfy its master, but as any pet owner knows, even the best-trained animal will sometimes do what it wants and try to take control of a moment. In this way, I think the pet metaphor is a much better expression of my need to be submissive while balancing my dislike of being totally dominated.<br /><br />Yesterday, my wonderful Belle <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Fille</span></span></span> called me from San Francisco, where she's visiting a friend. To while away the afternoon before her friend came home from work, she was doing some shopping and happened upon a local sex shop called <a href="http://www.goodvibes.com/">Good Vibrations</a>. She called me and we both shopped the store as she walked the aisles and I surfed their website. She'll be coming home Sunday with cuffs, straps, a feather tickler, nipple clamps and - the thing I'm most happy about - <span style="font-style: italic;">a fur-lined collar for her pet</span>.<br /><br />My wife is making her kinky little bunny very, very happy.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-85354224102509782082008-10-24T09:25:00.003-05:002008-10-24T10:32:06.214-05:00Out of the boxBelle let me out of the CB6K Wednesday night and I suspect I won't be seeing it again for a while. There are several reasons for this. First, we're in period of transformation in our relationship. Sometimes it's easy to forget that it was less than two months ago that I revealed my infidelity to Belle. From that nadir to today's zenith has been a remarkable period of discovery and growth that continues to evolve. The emotional and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">physiological</span> impact of enforcing chastity was not adding to the joy of this period. Second, Belle's still adjusting to her role as my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">keyholder</span> (and I'll continue to use that phrase even when not locked up since the key I've given her isn't just a physical one). No small part of our emotional transformation is the sexual aspect. I feel like I'm dumping all kinds of stuff on her that I've had in my head for years and years (more on that soon) and she's understandably going to need time to figure out what to do with it all. Frankly, she just isn't ready to deal with a whiny, locked up male. Lastly, there are just so many other new sexual adventures for us to explore that the slow burn of chastity was taking the hitch out of our giddy-up. Once we get past this "kid on Christmas morning" period, I really hope well revisit the acrylic prison. Right now, though, is the wrong time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-59094934342521383192008-10-22T12:31:00.007-05:002008-10-22T13:29:01.364-05:00Different, not betterDay two in the cage. This morning, Belle supervised as I dismantled the little acrylic torture chamber in order to put on the 2" ring (which, by the way, is too big - makes the thing much less secure). The relief once it was off was palpable. I had mentioned to her less than 10 minutes before that I wanted to move up a size and that I needed her to unlock me. As soon as I realized I was going to be released, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept going back to her until she agreed to go into the bathroom with me and do it. I was like a little kid or a puppy or something. I <span style="font-style: italic;">had</span> to get out of it.<br /><br />She washed the tube while I reassembled the bits and pieces. As soon as I started to slide the lubed cage back over my cock, I felt the elation leak out of me. I think I even whimpered a little. When she snapped the lock, something snapped in me, too. Not "snapped" like a postal worker. Maybe "clicked" is a better word. Anyway, I suddenly felt very much <span style="font-style: italic;">kept</span>. Locked up basically against my will since I really didn't want to get back in there. But, a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">deal's</span> a deal. I gave her the power and she's using it. I felt very different than before it arrived when she was denying me release. Then, I was looking for more stimulation - more access to her in order to get that. This time, I felt owned by her.<br /><br />After the relocking was done, I followed her around from room to room, kissed her a lot, and (apparently) gave her funny looks. Now I realize that I'm not just being denied orgasm, but her touch as well. She likes to lay in bed and basically pet my cock. She's been doing the same thing since I got locked up, but of course, now I can't feel it. The only sensation I get from my cock now is negative (pressure, tightness, pain). I feel so much more dependent on her than before. I am starting to feel like I'm her prisoner. It is effecting me emotionally and mentally.<br /><br />Mind you, I'm <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> saying I want to stop. I really want to continue to experiment with the device. However, at this time, I can't say I want chastity to be a huge part of our sexual lifestyle - more like a side dish rather than an entree. I <span style="font-style: italic;">love</span> that she controls it. I <span style="font-style: italic;">love</span> that I have no power over its use. It <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> a huge turn-on. Beyond that, though, I'm not sure I love how it makes me feel.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-20423356739882766222008-10-21T19:38:00.003-05:002008-10-22T09:51:42.679-05:00Irresistible forceThe biggest surprise so far with the CB6K is that, in fact, it does <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> stop erections. Just like Christmas morning the night after the Grinch steals all the Who-gifts, somehow or other, I get hard just the same. Unfortunately, the strength of my erection doesn't break the box it's in quite as easily as the Grinch's heart did when it grew from four sizes too small. It's more like when he gets caught going down the chimney. Yeah, OK, enough Dr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Suess</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">metaphors</span>.<br /><br />I guess I thought the erection would start, see that it didn't have room, shrug its shoulders, and then go back into his hole. Turns out it doesn't have shoulders (D'OH!). It just keeps on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">truckin</span>' and ends up backing up into my body and pressing the CB6K's ring into the underside of my balls. Ouch. I'm going to try moving to the 2" ring tonight, but don't have much hope that it'll make a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">difference</span>.<br /><br />Belle leaves town on Thursday for four days. She says she knows if I'll be locked up while she's gone, but she's not willing to tell me my fate...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-36296970533063508572008-10-21T05:50:00.012-05:002008-10-21T15:37:57.457-05:00The Eagle Has LandedBelle picked me up at the airport yesterday afternoon and had the CB6K with her. It was smaller than she had expected, but actually a little bigger than I had thought it would be (maybe a good thing). It's exactly what all the pictures of it look like on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">internet</span>, so very little surprise out of the box. She said she'd put me in it that night since I wasn't in the proper condition at that moment anyway and she wasn't feeling all that well (which is why she was home yesterday and able to come get me).<br /><br />We got home and, sickness be damned, were all over each other. Pretty soon we were naked and I was sending her into orgasm with a combination of my fingers and mouth (there's nothing better than directly feeling her orgasms with my tongue). Then, because she's sweet and probably a little too indulgent, she said I'd needed to fuck her and come if I wanted to be able to put the device on before we went to pick up the kids. It had only been since Wednesday with no teasing in between, but it was a fucking amazing release anyway.<br /><br />I started with the 2 inch ring and the second to smallest spacer. We applied <a href="http://stockroom.com/System-JO-Personal-Lubricant-P2949.aspx">JO lube</a> and did our best to pack my sausage into its new home. I was immediately able to pull it off. Following <a href="http://maybemaimed.com/2008/09/24/top-ten-tips-for-long-term-male-chastity-device-wear/">May's advice</a>, I moved to the 1 7/8" ring and the smallest spacer. After two or three <span style="font-weight: bold;">painful</span> pinches getting it assembled, it was more secure, but I'm still pretty sure I could pull out if I wanted to. Also, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">friggin</span>' ring is <span style="font-style: italic;">tight</span>. Not sure how much of this is par for the course and how much is just ill-fitting, but away we went to pick up the kiddies and head out for dinner.<br /><br />I definitely knew it was there the entire time. While driving, the CB6K had nowhere to go but down my left leg making me look like I'm either very well hung or very aroused. By the time we had both the kids and were at the restaurant, I was feeling some pretty intense pinching. Once home, I found a bunch of scrotum skin bunched up and pinched between the cage and the ring. Pulled that back through the ring and, using a Q-tip, shoved my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">winky</span> more fully into the cage and felt better. Then I had to pee.<br /><br />OK, this I'm not thrilled about. There's something about a strong, heavy stream of hot piss plunging into a toilet bowl that says - loudly and proudly - "guy". Pissing through the end of the cage slows and disrupts the stream so it comes trickling out. Standing is, of course, out of the question. Sitting, it sounds to all the world like the tinkling of a little girl. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Grrr</span>. It accentuates my imprisonment and Belle's ownership of my manhood in an unexpected way. While it makes this simple act much more complicated and somewhat humiliating, I also have to admit to being aroused by it.<br /><br />We eventually went to bed with the idea that we'd just snuggle and watch TV, but I wasn't much interested in just snuggling and was shortly pleasuring her with my fingers while sucking on her right nipple. After her second orgasm of the day, it was time for sleep. She gently stroked my forehead trying to being me down off my hormonal surge (I said she was sweet) and we fell into sleep with her in my arms. Bliss.<br /><br />About 90 minutes later, I was awake and on fire. The ring was incredibly tight and burned around the root of my unit while my cock felt numb. I went into the bathroom hoping to find my junk turning blue so I'd have an excuse to take the damned device off, but no dice. All was pink and normal, though very constrained. My hard-on had filled every tiny space inside the cage and the tip of my penis was pressing against the slit on the end of the tube. It wasn't <span style="font-style: italic;">numb</span>, it was just sensory deprived. I had the sensation of my dick being transported away from my body and held somewhere dark and tight, though I could still feel it. Weird.<br /><br />After a few cycles of falling back to sleep only to be awakened by my little prisoner's anguish, I rolled over and put my arm over Belle. She woke up a little and asked how I was sleeping. I asked what would happen if I said I wasn't, and she said nothing would happen, that she was just curious. Nice. So much for all that shit about her being sweet.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-6683380856931129752008-10-20T08:38:00.002-05:002008-10-20T08:45:10.296-05:00Like a Twinkie without the creamy fillingRandom thought. Like I said in the previous post, Belle and I have been away from each other for a week with just one short (yet productive) visit. In that time, I have hardly touched myself, let alone masturbated. This is not the version of orgasm denial I had in mind! Once I get home, we'll get back in the swing of things, but the absence of orgasms along with the absence of teasing or some other intense sexual stimulant isn't fun, it's just sad.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-10378356751014432852008-10-19T23:45:00.006-05:002008-10-21T06:17:37.026-05:00Changes are afootUgh, being away from Belle Fille has been hell...on both of us. In the past week, we've spent about 12 hours together and for most of those we were sleeping. First she was gone and <a href="http://denyingthumper.blogspot.com/2008/10/bleh.html">I was miserable</a> and now I've been gone and it's her turn. As I write this, I'm about 12 hours away from going home to her and not a moment too soon. What is it they say about tomorrow being the first day of the rest of your life?<br /><br />Saturday was our 11th wedding anniversary. Eleven years of keeping my sexual needs and wants hidden from her. Eleven years of her not being able to fully embrace the sexual being that was within her. Eleven years leading up to a crisis in our marriage that's left us stronger for having survived it. If the past six weeks (since I told her about the affair) have been the time our relationship was being heated and hammered by the blacksmith, then this past week was the final plunge into cold water before our new marriage - forged from what was left of the old - was fully complete.<br /><br />We're calling this "11.1" - the first year after the first eleven years. Standing here at the brink of it, I find myself filled with excitement and overwhelmed by the potential of it all.<br /><br />So, to fill you in on the events of the past several days: On Wednesday last, Belle came home from her trip. I did everything I could to clear the decks so that, upon her arrival, we could focus on each other. However, her plane landed early so the kids were still awake when she got home. Whatever. Minor setback. We still got to spend quality time (most of it naked by candlelight) and, after she climbed on top of me and came, she stayed up there and rode me to a fantastic orgasm. Jesus, I thought my toe nails were going to pop off. It had been just five days since my last emission (not that long compared to what many on the interweb say they've endured) but it was the longest I'd gone without release (while also being sexually aroused) since, like, ever.<br /><br />The CB6k will arrive tomorrow and all the other toys (with the exception of the new cock rings) have already shown up. She'll be leaving again on Thursday to spend time with her girlfriend in San Francisco (no, not that kind of girlfriend - but bonus points for thinking it) and I have to admit I hope she leaves me locked up while she's away. I'm a little worried about getting the fit right in just a few days, but think I can figure it out in time.<br /><br />Lastly, Belle has expressed an interest in joining me on this blog. I've set her up with an account, so we'll see what happens. The idea of a he-said-she-said thing kind of turns me on and, I think, her journey along this new path might be even more interesting than mine.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-89932323585250909892008-10-15T16:48:00.004-05:002008-10-22T13:04:09.170-05:00D.I.Y. cock ring reportDay two of wearing the crappy hardware store cock ring 24/7 is over and I can report no pain at all. No chafing, no pinching. There were some episodes last night where my erections made the ring bite across the top of my shaft, and the wood I woke up with this AM was just more of the same mildly discomforting pain. I think this is because the gauge of the ring is rather small and causes it dig into my flesh. I'm hoping the new stainless model, since it's thicker, will be more comfortable.<br /><br />All this nighttime and morning firmness has me thinking a lot about the CB6K <span style="font-style: italic;">still</span> on its way from Canada. I really can't know how that's going to be. Being awoken by a tight ring around my hard-on is one thing. Having the thing squeezed into a little rigid tube is something else entirely. Pretty sure there will be a few sleepless nights in my future. However, I do wonder about the tightness of the ring. If the the tube keeps me from achieving a full erection, will I need to move to a smaller size? Hmm, can't wait to find out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-41236506750981009202008-10-15T12:23:00.010-05:002008-10-15T16:46:20.873-05:00Triple playLast night I spoke to an old friend about this strange new world of orgasm denial (OD). It was refreshing because I felt very much that I wanted to share this with <span style="font-style: italic;">someone</span> other than Belle. I'm sure most people would tend to keep this kind of thing to themselves, but I've been compelled to talk about it and I think I know why. First of all, now that I'm being totally open with Belle about everything I'm thinking and wanting, it's sort of broken down a wall I had built between my fantasies and real life. Since she's the most important person to me in the world and knows everything I just don't feel like I <span style="font-style: italic;">need</span> to keep it a secret from anyone else. Second, in the short time Belle's had control over my emissions, I've gotten a glimpse of the incredible transformational potential of OD.<br /><br />I know that in my body (and, I assume, the bodies of most other guys) my brain, heart, and dick are all on the same circuit. Get control of one of those things, and the other two are easy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pickins</span></span>'. Get two, and it's game over. What I feel has happened in our relationship is that my brain and my heart conspired to hand over my dick to Belle. Due to the tremendous trust I have in her (brain) and the great love I feel towards her (heart), it was perfectly natural for me to hand over my dick (which really serves him right for being so easily distracted and only waking up a couple of times an hour). The erotic power of this arrangement also pleases both the brain and heart <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">immensely</span> and that helps keep the dick in it's place. Then, since the dick really is a simple minded yet powerful little guy, all the focus of his attention gets whittled into into a sharp point. In short, he has no other options. Like a kid frying an ant with a magnifying glass, he targets Belle and makes sure the brain and the heart (those elitist eggheads who put him in this spot to begin with) have no choice but to follow his imperative and focus on her more than they did before. <span style="font-style: italic;">That's the beauty of this scheme.</span> A simple yet sincere act of trust and love has, in effect, worked to increase those same feelings many times over. Soon, she became the absolute center of my universe. She hardly ever leaves my consciousness and her pleasure and well being have become a primary objective of mine. When she's not near, I think about when she will be again. When she is near, I am always thinking of new ways to make her even closer to me. Heady stuff.<br /><br />Truth be told, I had <span style="font-weight: bold;">no idea</span> OD would prove to be so potent. I am not a person with religious faith nor have I ever really felt its absence. However, this concept has proven to be so transformational that I begin to understand the zealot's drive. I want <span style="font-style: italic;">everyone</span> to do this. I think it should be standard operating procedure and, in fact, written into the marriage vows. Hell, I might just found a church around this. I could use the tax write-off. Anyone interested in joining Our Lady of Perpetual Denial?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-67539259841475533922008-10-15T06:32:00.005-05:002008-10-15T08:48:27.456-05:00Connie Cul-de-sacWhile talking on the phone to Belle last night, she told me she took umbrage at my characterization of her here as "by nature, not a kinky person." Said I made her sound like she's a Connie <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Cul</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">de</span>-sac. Apparently, there was this episode with a banana once in a hotel room and she thinks she should get some <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">kinkpoints</span> for that. Unless that's the tip of some tropical fruit fetish I don't know about (don't even want to <span style="font-style: italic;">think</span> about the pineapples), I will have to respectfully stand by my position that she is not, by nature, a kinky person. And that's OK! I think there's a lot of potential there. <a href="http://denyingthumper.blogspot.com/2008/10/game.html">The Game idea</a> shows that she's thinking about it and, personally, I feel just about everyone has their kinks and all anyone has to do is discover them. What I find nice about kinky interests is that one tends to lead to others.<br /><br />So anyway, I did what I always do when presented with a new opportunity for learning and bought some books. First, based on a recommendation from <a href="http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/">Tom Allen</a> on <a href="http://maybemaimed.com/label/kink-on-tap/">Kink on Tap 7</a>, I ordered <a href="http://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-You-Love-Kinky/dp/1890159239/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224070810&sr=8-5"><span style="font-style: italic;">When Someone You Love Is Kinky</span></a>. That one seems to be aimed at a person who's not as comfortable with a kinky partner as my Belle is, but it still might help her (and me) frame our relationship. Then, based on reviews on Amazon, I also picked up <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Come-Hither-Commonsense-Guide-Kinky/dp/0684854627/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224070815&sr=8-1"><span style="font-style: italic;">Come Hither: A Common Sense Guide to Kinky Sex</span></a>. This might be a little broad at the moment as we're just getting started here, but if Belle learns the finer points of tying me up, then all the better! Finally, I got <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Male-Chastity-Keyholders-Lucy-Fairbourne/dp/1905605145/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224070819&sr=8-1"><span style="font-style: italic;">Male Chastity: A Guide for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Keyholders</span></span></a>. Since this whole orgasm denial/chastity thing was my idea, I thought she'd need something like this to help <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">develop</span> her own personal approach to keeping my key.<br /><br />Of course, now that I've thrown down the "your not as kinky as me" <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">gauntlet</span>, I might just come back from my trip to find her in a full latex <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">dominatrix</span> suit brandishing a riding crop and myself on the floor hogtied with a hood over my head and a ponytail sticking out my ass.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837878496132621561.post-14160898639843911122008-10-14T23:21:00.005-05:002008-10-14T23:48:07.609-05:00Yay, enthusiasm!So I wrote the preceding post before talking to my Belle Fille. Now, I feel 180% better.<br /><br />I'm still new to all this and I'm not used to carrying around all these hormones. I think my previous funk was from losing the physical closeness of she who keeps my key. Without her near me, all my energy and pent up frustration just curdled. Once I heard her voice though, it was like the sun shone down upon me. Now I'm excited again and the guys who's sites left me angry and nonplussed earlier are humorous and entertaining again. Most of that shit's still not my cup of tea, but who am I to judge what gets them off? March forward to happiness, my sexually deprived brethren!<br /><br />I told Belle how I was surfing for porn last night but since I wasn't able to actually do anything to myself it ended up being unfulfilling and actually somewhat mesmerizing in the way documentaries about animal mating habits on the Discovery channel are. She told me to stop torturing myself because she'd being doing <span style="font-style: italic;">plenty</span> of that herself tomorrow night. Oh, <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> felt good! She also told me that she spent the day thinking about how I looked in the shower and what a great ass she thinks I have and how she wanted to bite it (take note: ass biting sends me over the fucking <span style="font-style: italic;">moon</span>). Suddenly I had a vision of her telling me to get in the shower, lather up, and start stroking myself while she watched though the glass door and fingered herself or, even better, used the sweet little dildo I got her for when I was otherwise detained. (Imagine me now looking like Homer Simpson thinking about donuts: mouth open, tongue lolling out, drool.)<br /><br />Oh god...there's that wave of desire building up in me again. Except now it has a focus: Belle. As long as all those tornadoes of testosterone are crashing up against her, it's <span style="font-style: italic;">fucking great</span>. Absent her, they're left to batter against my own doubts and insecurities. I so needed her tonight and she gave me just what I was missing. Thanks, Belle. See you tomorrow night. XOUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0