A Week

It's been almost a week since the last update. Sorry for shirking my duties!

Last Sunday morning, Belle woke saying she was hot for Thumper. This, I might say, is a nice way to wake up. Unfortunately, our youngest was up and in and out of our room, so Belle told me that I'd have to wait until that night to satisfy her craving. The previous night, I had made up for Friday's transgression by giving her the orgasm she was denied 24-hours earlier. I guess that wasn't quite enough, because she woke up wanting more. By lunchtime, I was also locked up in the CB6K. I went in voluntarily so I could test a new combination of ring and spacer sizes (middle ring, second to smallest space). Even though I wasn't interested in being in there very long, Belle decided I might have to keep it on for a while. She reminded me that she, not I, decided when it came off. Putting it on of my own volition didn't change that.

The day went by and we spent the evening over at her parent's house celebrating her dad's birthday. Belle had more than her fair share of wine and, by the time we got home and into bed, she was over the "hot for Thumper" phase from earlier. Now, at this point, if it were me in her position, I'd just say, "You thought we were going to have sex? Too bad." But instead, she went somewhere else.

One of the things that lead to the troubles we experienced in out marriage was lack of sex. I don't blame her for this. We both let it happen over a long period of time. We just stopped having it. We'd go six or eight weeks with nothing whatsoever – her not offering and me not asking. She didn't seem to need it and I'd go and look at some web porn whenever I wanted to cum. Combined with other factors, this eventually led me into a short-lived affair. Last Sunday, instead of using her position as my sexual dominant to cover for her lack of interest, she instead took a left turn and started crying. She was worried, she said, that by denying me sex after suggesting we'd have it earlier that we were heading back to the place that caused our marriage to suffer.

Two things here. First, nothing could be further from the truth. Our troubles before were caused by joint sexual apathy, but now I felt we had a fully-engaged love life. She was denying me because I wanted to be denied. I was 1500% more satisfied with a fraction of the ejaculations. Second, as soon as she became vulnerable to me – when she cried and expressed her worry – I was completely blown out of my subspace. I could no longer be submissive to her and the presence of the CB6K on my cock went from being sensual to annoying in about 1/10th of a second. I asked a few times to have it removed (requests she basically ignored) and finally asserted that it had to be removed. The entire D/s dynamic was swept away.

I tried to explain how she had nothing to fear. That I was really much happier now and how she could use her disinterest as just another way to tease me (in effect, giving me what I wanted by not giving me what I wanted), but she was still weepy as we went to sleep. I can't say we were fighting, but there seemed to be some unresolved issues. The next morning, I was still a million miles from feeling submissive. By that night, though, things were getting better. We had another, less tearful, conversation and I felt myself descending back into my subspace. I got a little heated up and she rebuffed me in the "right" way, which helped a lot. Now, I'm feeling close to where I was before. She let me cum Wednesday (somewhat unexpectedly) but has since locked me up again and said I will get out until next Friday (which will be eight days in the device, twice my previous record). Not only that, I'll have been without orgasm for ten days (also a new record).

There's more I can say about the ups and downs of the previous week, but I don't have time at present. Suffice it to say, we're heading back to a place where we're both comfortable, which is good, and I'm walking around with the buzz of sexual denial keeping me on edge, which is great. It was amazing to me how quickly the trappings of sexual submissiveness could be pulled down, but am happy to feel them returning. All I ever want her to do is what feels right to her. As long as she's happy, I will be, too.